She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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