My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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