Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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