Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
