My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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