just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
