Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
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