Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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