so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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