all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize