Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
