so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
