they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
