Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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