Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
