The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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