i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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