The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
wow bdsm is so cute
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
