We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
