I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
