So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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