He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
