It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
