let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
