We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
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