but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize