there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
