I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
