i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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