Too much gin, very little bucket
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
