I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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