he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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