I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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