I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize