just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
