her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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