How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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