What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
