And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
