just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
