are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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