Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
