I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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