we have pet lesbian snakes
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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