She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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