Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
pray to the hookup gods
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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