He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
