Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
