is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
