Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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