I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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