Heybabeimwearingurpanties
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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