you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize