I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize