it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
