But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
