i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
